Sunday, March 31, 2013
EXCERPTS FROM "LIVING WITH STRESS" CHAPTER 3
Feelings of bereavement weigh heavily upon us. They are not necessarily associated with the death of a beloved one, but to loss in general.
The hasty pace of modern society seems to demand that we go through the paces of the appropriate rituals and "move on." I think this is a mistake. We need time to grieve. [...]
The outcomes of masking our grief and/or denying ourselves the time to come to terms with our losses may go from reinforcement of an idealized image to a state of pathological mourning that becomes chronic and tinges everything we do.
How much stress will seep into your life depends entirely on your perception of a given situation. An optimistic view of the future and a proactive attitude in the present keeps stress at bay, with occasional peaks in the face of very concrete problems that take time to be worked out.
Conversely, a pessimistic view and the feeling that this is the end of the world (of YOUR world) will numb your intelligence and you will achieve a self-fulfilled prophecy.
[...] Some parents would fulfill their own frustrated expectations vicariously by turning their children into what they failed to become. If they succeed, it is the child who will have to worry about stress.